Wedding Etiquette - Wedding Favors

Staying on topic of favors, I thought I’d address a common question I get asked by couples all the time; how many favors should I order or how do we give them to our guests. This all depends on the favor you give and here is how to make the decision.  By the way, that's a favor display at a Wedded Luxe past wedding.  The favors doubled as escort cards.  When it comes to favors, presentation goes a long way!


1) If it’s edible, you should give one to each guests. You can’t expect a couple to share a slice of cake.

2) If it’s a souvenir or some kind of keepsake, you should give one per household or per couple.  If the couple doesn't live together, be sure to give each their own.

3) If you are giving a favor that will double as a escort card then you should give one per household or per couple. An easy rule of thumb is it should be given the same way you address your invitations.

You see, it's that simple.  I hope this helps those faced with the challenge of purchasing favors for their upcoming wedding.

Happy Planning,


Deniesha Joseph
DJoseph@weddedluxe.com
http://www.weddedluxe.com/
718.938.4713

Wedding Etiquette - Dealing with your Bridesmaids

Planning your wedding is very exciting. It’s a great time to but it can get stressful when you have so much to do for the wedding as well as your everyday life. It’s a natural reaction to reach out to your trusty bridesmaids/friends for help but remember they still have lives of their own as well. For me two of my best friends are mothers, one is starting grad school and she manages a bank, another just relocated to New York while she builds her business and the other is a newlywed living in bliss. Just like my friends, I’m sure your friends have their own obligations. Keep this is consideration when you call on your friends to help you with your pre-wedding planning activities. It’s your day and they want to be there for you but you don’t want to ruin a friendship because they couldn’t do what you asked. Here are some helpful tips on how to get help and keep your friends.


1) Plan in advice. Whatever the task give your friends enough notice to plan accordingly. They have a schedule and they may need to plan in advance to be there for you.

2) If you friend isn’t a planner don’t expect miracles. She will not become Martha Stewart just because you are getting married. Give your nonplanning friend a task that she will be good at and enjoy.

3) Remember to say thank you. They listen to you debate over 20 shades of pink, they’ve tied bows and showed up whenever you needed them. Show your gratitude. Thank you goes a long way.

4) Last but not least, don’t sweat the small stuff. You are going through a world wind of emotions so you may over react at times. Just keep things in prospective. You are marrying the love of your life and that’s all that matters right now.

Happy Planning,

Deniesha Joseph
DJoseph@weddedluxe.com
http://www.weddedluxe.com/
718.938.4713

Wedding Etiquette

I was reading one of my favorite wedding blogs last week, The Bridal Guide by Marcy Miller and I came across some great advice about the gap between the ceremony and the reception.  Many couples worry about what their guest will do during the gap.  Will they skip the ceremony all together or will people get bored during this time?  This is a legitimate concern but sometimes it is an unavoidable situation.  Here is some good advice and some reassuring words for those out there that struggling with this dilemma.  Just click on the link http://ow.ly/16fiji

Happy Planning,

Deniesha Joseph
Wedded Luxe
Luxury Wedding Planning & Couture Designs
DJoseph@weddedluxe.com
718.938.4713

Wedding Etiquette

Lately I’ve come across some etiquette questions that I thought I’d share with all my brides out there. Just in case you were considering some of these options, here is your answer.

Evites – I love evites for small parties and casual gatherings but for a wedding I’m going to have to say no to this one. I know it saves paper and money but your wedding day is a big deal and your guest deserve a proper invitation. I know there are some green brides that want to save paper but there is a better way to go green. Check out these eco-chic invitations made by Bella Figura. They are beyond eco friendly. They use wind power, all of their invitations are made from 100% cotton and they donate 1% of their sales to environmental causes.

Monetary Gift Request – I know you don’t want a gravy bowl or monogrammed towel but you cannot put monetary gifts on your invitations. The purpose of inviting your friend and family to your wedding is not the gifts, that’s an added bonus. They are there to share in your special day and we should all be grateful for that. Most people know the general rule of thumb and yes you may end up with some gifts but it won’t be the majority. Trust me, I’ve been to enough weddings to know the outcome. I pretty can ensure you all that you will receive more monetary gifts than gravy bowls.

No Children – many couples do not wish to have children at their wedding which is understandable. However please do not put the words “no children” on your invitation. It’s blunt and rude to those who have children. A better way to phrase it is “adult reception”. This gives the hint to those with children that their children are not invited without hurting their feelings.

Now I’m all for it’s your day do it your way but there are some etiquette rules that will always apply when it comes to weddings. If you have a non-traditional idea that may cross the line of good etiquette, feel free to send your wedding idea to DJoseph@coutureeventsbyd.com and I’ll be happy to answer your question and provide you with an alternative.

Happy Planning,

Deniesha Joseph
Couture Events by D
Designed by me, Just for you
http://www.coutureventsbyd.com/
718.938.4713

Is This Thing On?

For every couple I work with, about one month before their wedding we have a meeting to discuss all the wedding day details. This meeting is to ensure all t’s are crossed and all i’s are dotted. We go over every single detail with ease but the one subject that always causes a bump in the road are the speeches. I always add it to the to do list but when it comes time to make the final decision, I get dead air. What I’ve come to learn is the couple is usually nervous about this portion of their wedding. They don’t want embarrassing stories told about them. They don’t want the speeches to go on for too long. Or they don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings by not giving someone the opportunity to share some kind words. The speeches can be a tricky thing to figure out but don’t worry I have some solutions.

One way to decipher how to handle the speeches is to simple think about the kind of couple you are. Are you party people, are social people, are sentimental or do you shy away from the spot light. Also think about the people in your family and their personalities. You may have some family members that are shy or some who are waiting for the mic to come their way. These questions will guide your choice on how to handle the speeches. If you want to party as much as you can, then you will keep the speeches to the minimum. The bestman, maid of honor and the parents will do just fine. This will only take about 20 minutes. If you are on the sentimental side, you can have an open mic format but with a time limit. Let your DJ or MC know how long you want the speeches to go on (it shouldn’t be long then 30 minutes, you don’t want your other guest to get bored) and once the time is up the DJ can gracefully wrap it up and move on to the next portion of the wedding day festivities.

If you want a select few to give a speech, let the chosen ones know this before the wedding. This will give them time to prepare something. You don’t want anyone winging it at your wedding. This will be uncomfortable for you them and you.

If you want to avoid embarrassing stories coming out, have the speeches before the party gets started. Liquid courage may encourage some family members to say something they wouldn’t have said with a sober mind. You can’t avoid them all but this is sure to help.

Whether you decide to have assigned speeches or an open mic, one key piece of advice I always give to my clients is to have the speeches during dinner. All of your guest will be seated and you have their attention. Also you will get the most of your time so you can party the night away.

Happy Planning,

Deniesha Joseph
Couture Events by D
Designed by me, Just for you
http://www.coutureventsbyd.com/
718.938.4713

Fashion for the Mothers

When it comes to choosing the mother of the bride's and groom's attire for the wedding, this can be a touchy subject. You want them to wear one thing and they may want to wear something completely different. The best way to handle this is compromise. Let the mothers be themselves but guide their choice with a color palette or choice of style. It’s your day but they have to be comfortable with their attire as well. The best way to find the right dress is communication. If you have a certain color in mind, let them know upfront. Don’t wait until they go shopping to hit them with this news. Also ask the mothers what they had in mind and share your ideas as well. You are bound to come up with something you both like. Dress shopping can be a fun day of mother and daughter time or a good time to get to know your future mother in law a little better. Go shopping, have a nice lunch and most importantly, have fun with it. Here are some mother of the bride and groom dresses I love and I hope you love them to!

I couldn't resist posting this picture. I thought this would be the perfect dress for that sassy, fashionista mother!! I know some are totally against black for weddings but this dress is so beautiful! (photos 1-7 are courtesy of Nordstrom, photo 8 courtesy of Real Talk of NY)

Happy Planning & Happy Mother's Day!!

Deniesha Joseph
Couture Events by D
Designed by me, Just for you
http://www.coutureventsbyd.com/
718.938.4713

Ask The Planner - Cocktails or Mocktails?

Q: My fiancé and I are Christians and we do not drink alcohol at all. Most of our guests are Christians as well but some of our guests do drink socially. We do not wish to serve alcohol for our reception. All of our friends and family know we don’t drink so I think they will be fine with a non alcoholic reception. I want to serve non alcholic versions of popular drinks like daquiries and pina colodas but a couple of my friends are telling me to serve some alcohol. Also I don’t want my guest drinking and driving. Is this a good idea or will my guest be disappointed?

Thanks,

Soon to be Mrs. Browne

A: Well first congratulations on your engagement and I hope the planning process is going well. Your friends and family do respect your beliefs but you have to respect their choice as well. I’m sure when they visit your home; they do not expect to have a glass of wine. However this is not a small gathering of family and friends, this is the biggest party you will ever have. People do enjoy having cocktails at a wedding and they look forward to it. I think it’s best to serve wine and beer at the least. This will accommodate your guests that do drink. Your idea of coming up with non alcoholic cocktails is a great idea. Many frozen drinks can be done in a non alcoholic version, like pina colodas and daiquiris. Also, consider the time of day your wedding is taking place. If you’re having an evening wedding, there is an anticipation of alcoholic beverages. You may want to consider an early afternoon wedding. I think this will best suite the type of wedding you are having and people usually drink less early in the day. If you are still not convinced, think of it like this; if you were attending a wedding and the bride was a vegetarian, would you expect a vegetarian meal? Probably not right? It’s the same situation just a different element. I hope I was able to help you solve your planning dilemma.

Happy Planning,

Deniesha Joseph
Couture Events by D
Designed by me, Just for you
http://www.coutureventsbyd.com/
718.938.4713

Addressing Invitation – the not so fun part!!

Sending out your invitations is a daunting task but it has to be done. Properly addressing them can also be a headache. With all the different kinds of families, couples and name options there are today, it can get tricky. Here are some guidelines to help make the process a little easier.


Unmarried woman over 18 or divorce woman who retains her maiden name
Outer Envelope: Miss (Ms.) Jane Doe

Inner Envelope: Ms. Jane Doe & Guest

Divorced woman who uses her married name

Outer Envelope: Mrs. Jane Doe

Inner Envelope: Mrs. Jane Doe & Guest

Unmarried or Divorce man

Outer Envelope: Mr. John Doe

Inner Envelope: Mr. John Doe and Guest

Married couples

Outer Envelope: Mr. and Mrs. Doe
Inner Envelope: Mr. & Mrs. Doe

Married couples and their family

Outer Envelope: Mr. and Mrs. Doe

Inner Envelope: The Doe Family

Married couple when the woman uses her maiden name

Outer Envelope: Mrs. Jane Jones, Mr. John Doe

Inner Envelope: Mrs. Doe Mr. Doe

Unmarried couple that share the same residence, address alphabetically by last name same rule applies for same sex couples

Outer Envelope: Ms. Jane Doe & Mr. John Frank

Inner Envelope: Mr. Doe, Mr. Frank

Unmarried couple who do not share the same residence. You should send the invitation to the friend that is closest to you. Same rule applies to same sex couples

Outer Envelope: Ms. Jane Doe

Inner Envelope: Ms. Jane Doe and name of guest if obtainded

Children over 18 should receive their own invitation even if they still live at home and their parents are invited to the wedding
Outer Envelope: Ms. Jane Doe
Inner Envelope: Ms. Doe

Keep in mind, if you decide to hire a professional calligrapher to handle addressing your invitations, you will need to provide them with this information.

Happy Planning,

Deniesha Joseph
Couture Events by D
Designed by me, Just for you
http://www.coutureventsbyd.com/
718.938.4713

Wedding Ettiquette

I was reading one my favorite blogs, The Bridal Guide by Marcy Miller  last week about the gap between the ceremony and the reception.  I thought it was pretty good advice and I so I thought I'd share it with you. Usually there is time gap between the ceremony and the reception.  Many couples worry about what their guest will do with during that time gap but sometimes in unavoidable.  Here is some advice for the couples out there with this problem. Just click on the link http://ow.ly/16fiji.

Happy Planning,
Deniesha Joseph
Wedded Luxe
Luxury Wedding Planning & Couture Designs
718.938.4713