What's the Right Way To Ask Your Girls to be Your Bridesmaid

So you are ready to select your bridesmaids and this can be an easy choice as to who it should be. These are women that know and love and they are so excited you are getting married.  Of course they will happily accept your invitation.   However did you stop and think about all the details?  Do you know how much it will cost to be a bridesmaid?  What you want them to be responsible for?  Are they paying for their own hair and makeup? Do you want them to plan your bridal shower? Before your bridesmaids say yes to you they should know exactly what they are saying yes to.  Giving your bridesmaids all the information up front will save you and your bridesmaids’ headaches, aggravation, and sticker shock later down the line.  Here’s what they should know:

1) The Dress

The dress will be the most expensive purchase your bridesmaids make.  You should start a preliminary dress search to see which styles and designers you may like.  Once you made a few choices, see what price range they fall in.  This ball park figure will be helpful especially if the dress you love is on the pricey side. 

2    2) The Accessories

Not only do your bridesmaids’ need dresses but they will need shoes and jewelry usually the bridesmaids are responsible for paying for their own shoes.  If you are picking the shoes and you want them to wear the same shoe, pick a price point and let your bridesmaids know which direction you are leaning towards.  If they can buy their own shoe, just give them the criteria and this way the budget is their choice.  Many brides gift the wedding day jewelry to their bridesmaids as a thank you for being a part of their wedding party.  If you are not taking this route, you should let them know in advance.

      3) Hair and Makeup

This is always a touchy subject for brides.  The expense of wedding day hair and makeup onsite can start about $75.00 per bridesmaid.  If you have a large bridal party, this can get costly.  If you can’t afford to pay for the complete package, you may want to consider paying for half or just the makeup portion.  More than likely, your bridesmaids already have a trusted hair stylist and they won’t let anyone else touch their hair not even for your wedding. 

      4) Pre Wedding Activities

These days’ brides are having bridal showers, bachelorette parties and sometimes bachelorette getaways.  Traditionally, the bridal shower should be thrown by the maid of honor and the bridesmaids.  The bachelorette party or getaway is paid for by your bridal party and they may cover your expenses as well. 

Once you have a general idea of what you want for all four of these items, you should be prepared to let your tentative bridesmaids know shortly after you ask them to be a part of your bridal party.  You should also be considerate of everyone’s financial situation.  These are your friends and family; for the most part you know what’s going on in their lives and what they can afford.  You should not have to give up you anything you want but be prepared to cover some the expense in order to have it.  You may want to give your friends a chance to opt out of being a bridesmaid.  This may save you from uncomfortable conversations and will also save your friendships.  Your friends want to be a part of your wedding and they may feel pressured into doing so even if they can’t afford it.  Take the pressure off and give them a chance to decline the invitation to be a bridesmaids but I’m sure they will gladly be a guest at your wedding. 

TIP: Start a wedding club.  This is the same concept of as a Christmas club but it is for the wedding expenses.  Put your maid of honor in charge and everyone can put in a small amount once a week or whatever works best.  For example, if all the expenses will total $1,000.00 divide this by 36 weeks and that’s about $27.00 a week.  That’s much easier to swallow than a couple of $100.00 here or there. 

Do you have a bridal party dilemma you need help solving?  Send me your question at DJoseph@weddedluxe.com  and I will help you  and your bridesmaids come to a resolution! 

Live.Laugh.Love….. Luxuriate!

Deniesha  Joseph

Wedded Luxe

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DJoseph@weddedluxe.com

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The Wedding Budget

Today I wanted to talk about the wedding budget. I have no savvy advice on how to save a couple of dollars, just my perspective on this topic. I’m really speaking to the couples out there struggling with the cost of their wedding even when they have the money to spend. I know many couples have trouble seeing the point and spending X amount of dollars on one day. They stress about every dollar spent, they get anxiety attacks with every invoice and they take all the fun out of the planning process. I’ve seen this happen for couples with budgets in many different ranges. It not the amount that you are spending, it’s the fact that you are spending it period that may stress you out.

First let me say, it’s not just one day, it’s your wedding day!! This day symbolizes the beginning of your new life together and you will always remember your wedding day. It’s not the money that really matters, it’s the experience you create; the memory you will have for years to come. Now what do you want to remember is the question. Don’t let the cost of your wedding deter from the experience you always wanted to create. You do not want to look back on your wedding like I wish I did this different or that different when you have the funds to create the wedding you want. Again, this advice is only for the couples that have the funds for the wedding but are struggling with spending it. I am not talking to the couples who are experiencing financial hardship but won’t let go of their wedding day dream. I’ll address you on another post.

I once told a friend of mind, you can upgrade your engagement ring, you can buy a house a year later or remodel your kitchen another time, but you only get one wedding day, one day to get it right. Even if you do it over on an anniversary, it’s not the same. Am I saying go broke to have your wedding your way, absolutely not. I’m saying, if you have the funds to have the wedding you want, take the stress out of the planning and just have the wedding you really want. Do not spend the time stressing over every penny spent. Stay within the budget perimeters you are comfortable with and just do it!!

So what experience are you trying to create for your wedding?

Do you have a wedding budget question? Send your question and I'll be happy to help at DJoseph@weddedluxe.com  

Live.Laugh.Love….. Luxuriate!

Deniesha  Joseph

Wedded Luxe

Tweet Me - Like Me - Pin Me

DJoseph@weddedluxe.com

www.weddedluxe.com
718.938.4713

The Wedding Budget

I recently met one of the sweetest brides ever! She had a lot of great ideas for her wedding but there was one problem, the BUDGET. I’m very budget conscience when it comes to planning a wedding. I’m a drill sergeant to my clients on this topic because before you know it, you have blown the budget due to bad choices. With this bride, she started planning her wedding and she did a lot of research. When it came to the budget she totally ignored the advice she found online. In particular she used one of my favorite tools,        the budget estimator. The budget estimator gives you an estimate based on where you live and the type of wedding you want which they decipher by asking you a series of questions. For the wedding she wants, the estimator told her she would spend anywhere between 37,000 to 67,000. She didn’t believe it even after I told her that estimate is pretty accurate. Don’t get me wrong, there are ways to save but you have to know how to use your funds and here’s how:


1) Determine a budget. I can’t stress this enough, you must set a budget before you start planning. If you go in blindly, you risk the chance of spending way more than you ever intended to spend. Talk about it with your fiancée and anyone who is financially contributing to your wedding.

2) Use a budget estimator or something like it to help you allocate your funds. These are just estimates but be clear you will spend 45% -50% of your budget on the reception. The other categories like photography, décor, etc you can prioritize and decide where you want to spend more or less.

3) Hire a wedding planner!! I know what you are thinking, “I’m spending more money not saving”. That’s an incorrect statement. Hiring a planner will help you find the right vendors that fit within your budget. Also a planner will help you allocate your funds and use them wisely.

These three tips will help you save in the long run.   Before you start planning, commit to any vendors or a venue, you should follow these three tips.  Your wedding may cost more than you think it will cost so before you go out there, take my advice.   Here's some more budget tips from a previous posting.  http://weddedluxe.blogspot.com/2008/12/ask-planner.html
 
Happy Planning,

Deniesha Joseph
DJoseph@weddedluxe.com
http://www.weddedluxe.com/
718.938.4713

The Wedding Budget

I thought I would address the wedding budget as a follow up to the first steps to planning your wedding. Setting a budget is the most important decision you can make when planning your wedding. Most people don’t know how much a wedding cost until they start planning a wedding. If you are one of those people, you should research how much the average wedding cost in your city. You can use this helpful website: Cost of Wedding to start your research. Now that you know how much the average wedding cost in your area, you should determine where in that range you are comfortable with or if the range is too high or low for your budget.


Now that you have set your budget, here are some helpful tips on how to use your budget wisely.
1) Your reception will be 50% -60% of your overall budget no matter the venue you choose. Research the venues that fall within your budget and maybe some venues that are little bit higher. I recommend this because if you spend $10.00 more per person for a venue that has the right décor, in the end you will spend less time and money on making the cheaper venue fit your wedding.

2) Prioritize what’s most important to you and your fiance. Write a list of the things that are most important to you. The items at the top of the list are the items you have a little wiggle room. Meaning you can go over budget just a little to have exactly what you want. But remember you will have spend less on items on the bottom of the list to balance the budget. 

3) Estimate higher than you want to spend. It’s always better to start high than low. If your budget is 25K, budget 27K. This extra $2,000.00 will give you some room for incidentals, a small detail that you didn’t initial plan on or just extra cash you can use for your honeymoon if you end up no needing it at all. Call it the emergency fund.  Break the glass in case of emergencies only!!

For more helpful advice on the wedding budget, click here for a previous blog post. It’s an oldie but goodie!!

Happy Planning,

Deniesha Joseph
DJoseph@weddedluxe.com
http://www.weddedluxe.com/
http://twitter.com/Wedded_Luxe
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Wedded-Luxe/164768235325?ref=ts
718.938.4713

Wedding Flowers – Carnations

I know when some brides hear the word carnations they cringe at the thought but you should reconsider carnations for your wedding. I’m not talking about the ones from your local grocery store that you pass on the way home. I’m talking about quality, fresh picked carnations that when they bloom are just delightful and so feminine. Carnations are an inexpensive flower that goes a long way. So when you are considering your wedding flowers, consider carnations. Here is some carnations inspiration.

Photo Credit: Brides.com

Photo Credit: Project Weddings

Photo Credit: Project Weddings

Photo Credit: Style Me Pretty

Photo Credit: Southern Wedding Magazine

Tips on how to use carnations:
Carnations can be combined with other blooms to add fullness without taking you over budget.

Budget Tip:
Try using carnations in place of peonies. Peonies can run from $5.00 to $7.00 a stem versus the carnation that is a fraction of the price.

Décor Tip:
You can have an arrangement of all carnations for a full and luxurious centerpiece. Or you can use them as accents for some floral designs that may use a lot of flowers.

Happy Planning,

Deniesha Joseph
Wedded Luxe - Luxury Wedding Planning & Couture Designs
http://www.weddedluxe.com/
718.938.4713

Rich Bride, Poor Bride

I’ve been feeling under the weather these last couple of days so I’ve been spending a lot of time in bed with my laptop. This down time gave me an opportunity to catch up on some of my favorite wedding shows I love to watch and one episode in particular stuck out.

(photo courtesy of WeTv, click on photo to view Wetv Website and this episode's info)

Are you familiar with the show “Rich Bride Poor Bride” that comes on WeTV? Well the premise off the show is to show how couples plan their wedding on different budgets, usually small to average. On this episode, the couple Kevin and Lindsay were on a tight budget of $15,000. Lindsay was by far the cheapest bride I’ve ever seen but she had her reasons. However, her cheap ways almost cost her great memories of her wedding. If you are a budget bride, this is the episode for you!! It will help you put some things in prospective. Even the bride realized she made some mistakes and should have paid for certain services. In this economy, we are all trying to save but before you do, seek professional advice on where to skimp and where to spend. You do not want to look back and regret your wedding or be unhappy on your wedding day.

Kleinfeld Sample Sale!!

One of my favorite bridal salons is having their annual sample sale. This is a great opportunity to get a fabulous gown for a great price!! It takes place on Tuesday, February 3rd from 3pm to 7pm and there is no appoinment necessary. Get their early because the lines will be long!!

Happy Planning and Happy Shopping!!

Deniesha Joseph
Couture Events by D
Designed by me, Just for you
http://www.coutureventsbyd.com/
718.938.4713

How Much Does That Cost?

Setting a budget is very important when planning a wedding. No matter the size of your budget, you should know how much you are willing to spend before you start spending. Many couples spend more than they would have liked and I believe it’s because they never really set a budget to begin with. Not only do you need to know how much you are willing to spend but you also need to know how to spend it. There are many elements that go into planning a wedding and they all come with a price tag. To help you allocate your funds, here is a chart that I use to help my clients allocate their budget.

Reception 50%
Photography 12%

Flowers/Decor 10%

Apparel 8%
Transportation 5%

Rings 4%

Music 3%

Stationary/Printing 2%

Gifts & Favors 2%

Ceremony 2%

Misc/Accessories 2%

Another helpful way to allocate yourbudget is to prioritize the things that are important to you. List all the categories in order of importance to you. The items at the top of your list are where you can splurge and the items at the bottom are where you can be more flexible with your selection.

Remember no matter the size of your budget; keep the number in mind when you are searching for venues and vendors. You should know how much to allocate to each category before you agree to anything. If you go over in one category, you should be willing to make up the difference in other areas to help keep you within your budget. If you saved in one category, you can take that extra money and splurge on something else!!

6,000 Wedding!!

On the same day I received a question from a bride on a budget, I also read an article on www.essence.com about a couple who spent $6,000 on a wedding!! UNBIEVALABLE!! Judging from the pictures, the wedding turned out to be pretty nice. Here are some of the pictures from the wedding and for more on how she did it all for $6,000 go to http://www.essence.com/relationships/advice/articles/budgetbride?xid=120808-ENews-Friday-BudgetImage

For all my brides out there, please keep in mind this woman lives in Atlanta so this may not be possible depending on where you live. What she accomplished was remarkable and kudos to that bride but please keep in mind it takes a lot of hard work, a lot of time and research to accomplish what she did.

Happy Planning,

Deniesha Joseph
Couture Events by D
Designed by me, Just for you
http://www.coutureventsbyd.com/
718.938.4713

Ask The Planner

Q: Hi Deniesha, My finance and I come from huge families, do you think it's possible to have an elegant wedding with 200 guests on a budget of 15k. Please let me know if you think I'm daydreaming.

Thanks a bunch!

A: I tell all my clients anything is possible depending on the choices you make. Like most brides, I'm sure you want a wedding that you and your guest will remember forever. My honest opinion is you will more than likely have to increase your budget by at least another 10k. But I do have some tips on how to save.

1) Choose an off day for your wedding date. The most expensive day to get married is a Saturday night. Fridays and Sundays are usually cheaper at most venues. Even consider a weekday if possible. An early Sunday afternoon wedding is the cheapest and most convenient option.

2) Keep your menu and bar selection simple. Instead of serving 3 choices for your main course (chicken, beef or fish) just serve chicken. Most people eat chicken and if you have some guest with special dietary needs, like vegetarians, you can ask your caterer or venue to have those meals prepared as well. There is usually no extra cost for this. If you are getting married in a venue where you can bring in your own caterer, have a buffet instead of a sitdown dinner.

3) Be a DIY!! If you are a crafty person, take on some of the wedding day projects yourself, like invitations, programs or favors. There are many DIY kits out there that are fabulous.

4) Look out for sales! When shopping for items like your wedding day attire, look out for sample sales and trunk shows. You can get a beautiful dress at a great price.

5) Shop around and be creative. When you are searching for vendors, like photographers, videographers, or DJ's look around for vendors that may be starting out in the wedding industry. They are willing to offer their services at a discount or sometimes free in exchange for exposure, a recommendation and the opportunity to increase their portfolio. Be sure to make an appointment to view their portfolio and if possible read some reviews from former clients.

6) Track your spending. Keeping track of your spending will help you stay on top of your budget at all times. So when making your selections you will always know how much money you can spend on that particular item. I strongly recommend this because as time goes on you book vendors, you buy things and before you know it, you are way over budget.

Many brides on a budget think they cannot afford a wedding planner but that is not that case. Hiring a planner will save you time and money. A good wedding planner will help you find vendors that suit your budget and give you guidance along the way. I've worked with array of budgets so I know exactly what you are going through.

I hope I was able to help and feel free to contact me if you ever have any more planning dilemmas.

Happy Planning,
Deniesha Joseph
Couture Events by DDesigned by me,
Just for you
http://www.coutureventsbyd.com/
718.938.4713

Economy dampens wedding plans

I read this article on Newsday.com today and I thought I would share it. Weddings can have a have hefty price tag and many clients I have met with recently have down sized their wedding plans in order to save money as well. But one piece of advice I will give is, don't sacrifice quality to save a buck. There are ways to save when planning your wedding but you don't want your wedding to appear as if it was on a budget.

Has the economy changed your wedding plans? Please send in your comments.

Economy dampens wedding plans
By Arielle Brechisci and Michelle Trauring October 14, 2008

A fairy tale wedding never took a recession into consideration.

“We started planning our wedding a year” said Lori Sabetello, 27, of Mount Sinai. “If we were doing it now, and this is how the economy was, we would have invited less people or had it at a less expensive place.”

Business catering to Long Island weddings- events frequently considered to be models of extravagance – are feeling the pinch as more and more couples worried about the souring economy scale back their festivities.

“I would say it’s the slowest it’s been in 15 years” said Victoria Buckwald, co-owner of Angel Bridals, a bridal shop in East Islip.

“More girls have a specific budget in mind, and it’s down from the budget that they would have had a year ago” said Buckwald she began noticing changes in brides's spending habits about a year and half ago.

Buckwald said she's notices women borrowing headpieces and other accessories from their friends, or buying wedding dresses off the rack and having the alterations made instead of custom-ordering a gown.

“You look to save money in any way that you can” said Sabatello, whose wedding to her high school sweetheart is Nov 7 at Infant Jesus Roman Catholic Church in Port Jefferson. “It’s a lot of money when you start adding everything up.”

Gary Cress, fourth-generation owner of James Cress Florists in Smithtown and Port Jefferson, feels the impact of price-conscious brides on his cash register.

For one recent wedding, Cress’ shop crafted the table arrangements – but that was all.

“The bride went to Stop & Shop & for the bouquets” he said. “ I was absolutely floored”

In years past, Cress said, it wasn’t unusual for brides to come to him and say they have consulted with two other florists. Now, it’s more like seven or 10. “The competition is much more prevalent,” he said.

To stay afloat, Cress finds himself changing this sales tactics. He hasn’t lowered prices generally but he is negotiating more with brides on the cost.

“I don’t let any brides walk,” he said. “If they come in with a certain amount of money to spend, I give them their flowers. You can’t let some supermarket do your wedding. It needs to be done correctly.”

Guest list also are taking a hit. Michael Burbage, banquet coordinator for Beckwith Pointe Catering in New Rochelle, said Friday that many guest are not attending his client’s weddings because they can’t afford the travel and hotel costs, or even an adequate gift.

“I have a couple getting married this weekend and almost 35 percent of guest said no.” said Burbage, whose clientele is about 10 percent Long Islanders. Couples have resorted to “going to their C and D lists” to maintain the minimum number of guest needed to keep their room, he said.

Sabatello said that our of 180 guest she and her fiancé invited, 120 responded with one week left to go until the RSVP date. So far, 21 guest – mostly from out of state – declined the invitation.

Debbie Golden, 26 of Coram, has a guest list of 125 and is counting on 100 showing up at wedding in May. “We didn’t invite a lot of out-of-towners,” she said, so there’s no need to worry about long distance cancellations.

But one of the out-of-townser is her sister – who’s in the wedding.

“She’ll show up. Well, hopefully,” she said with a laugh.

Many long Island catering halls haven’t noticed a big change since the economic slump. Bruce Cocchi, banquet director of Watermill Caterers in Smithtown, said he’s notices a slight decrease, “but nothing dramatic,” in guest attendance.

“Maybe some people are concerned about their jobs and giving gifts,” Cocchi said, but I think most people, when it comes to a wedding, realize that the importance of the date has to be supersede something as superficial as money.”

Planning on a budget!!

With all of the turmoil with the economy these days, it has inspired me to write about Brides on a Budget. Many couples are opting for a low profile wedding. To all the brides that are planning a wedding on a budget, please know that it can be done, even if you live in NY. Many brides believe because they are on a budget, they can’t afford a wedding planner/coordinator. This is completely false. Most wedding coordinators, if not all have different packages to choose from. You should choose the package that offers support and guidance throughout the planning process and day of coordination. This package is usually less expensive than a full service planning package. This will give you help with making decisions and they can use their resources to help you find vendors that work with your budget. They will also be there the day of your wedding to execute your vision. The reason I suggest hiring a wedding planner is not because I am a fellow planner. It’s because I have worked with brides on a tight budget and they usually come to me when it’s too late to help them. We are here to help not to make matters worse. Of course there are some planners you may not be able to afford but shop around, I’m sure you will find one. There are many talented wedding planners out there. (myself included, wink wink) Here are some more tips for saving money on your wedding day.


Be a DIY Bride!!
Are you crafty? Well put it to work my glue gun toting bride!! There are many ways to use this talent that will save you money. Your wedding stationary is one of them. There are many DIY kits on the market that will give professional and polished stationary. You can also check with your local stationary store for design programs and a wide selection of paper. My favorite stationary store is Paper Presentation located on 18th Street in NYC. They have a huge selection of paper and accessories with a knowledgeable staff that can help you choose the right items for your needs. You can also put your craft skills to use by making your own favors. CD’s are very inexpensive to create and it’s useful to your guest. The right play list will go a long way.


Making budget conscience decisions!!
The choices you make during the planning process will help you stay within your desired budget. For example, having an early Sunday wedding is less expensive than the ever popular Saturday night wedding. A buffet style reception is also less than having a formal sit down dinner. Your floral designs are also a big ticket item. If you love the look of tall lavish center pieces, how about mixing in some low center pieces. This will give you the look you want and still save some money. Another easy way to save is to cut down the guest list where ever possible. The more guest you have, the more expenses you will have. Look over your list and see which guest can be eliminated without hurting their feelings. This may only equate to 10 people but it’s 10 less seats to pay for, 10 less favors, 10 less invitations and the list goes on. This can save you hundreds of dollars in the end. The right decisions will go a long way in the end.


Track your spending!!
By keeping an accurate account of your expenses, it will help you make budget conscious decisions. For example, if you went over budget for your reception, you can cut cost in another area like the invitations. Being aware of your cost will keep you on top of your budget at all times. You don’t want to be surprised with a 50k bill and your desired budget was really 30k. Create a spread sheet and punch in you expenses as they occur. This will help you keep track of your spending and you will always have a clear picture of the final cost of your wedding.



Happy Planning!!

Deniesha Joseph

Couture Events by D

http://www.coutureventsbyd.com/

718.938.4713